I’ve just seen footage of the tragedy in Lebanon and my heart is hurting so badly it aches.
If ever I thought 2020 couldn’t get worse, it seems each day someone tells me to watch this/click that, my heart breaks a little more, until it gets to the point, where I throw my arms up in surrender and ask God what on earth is going on.
I am the biggest believer in faith and God, but this year…..
….. as I watch tragedy after tragedy after tragedy unfold, I….just….don’t know what to do or say anymore, and all those times I hear people ask why God allows these things to occur, today I find myself wondering those things too.
This morning, I am taking photos in Mount Eliza of rainbows filled with love letters for my daughter, and then four hours later I am witnessing a tragedy of such horrific scale…it makes my heart, mind and soul want to scoop my children up in my arms, curl up and hide away until 2020 and it’s tragedies blow over once and for all.
Yet, then I remember my faith.
And my love.
And I look deep within, and deep outside and I bow my head and say:
“I don’t know why this is happening, but I just can’t keep sitting here doing nothing……”
And yet I don’t know what else to do
I would already be doing it.
I’m a single mum looking after three kids, barely keeping my own head above water….I can’t keep taking on problems of the world (been there, tried that, it literally destroyed my life) but yet, the woman I am deep in my heart….she can’t keep pretending life is wonderful (because it is for me living in beautiful Mount Eliza) when it is not for so many who are hurting and in pain, living in pain, tragedy and poverty…and for a long time I didn’t want to live here in Mount Eliza.
I believed I should stand my ground and fight for my community and the greater world at large by bunking down in Frankston and being where the problems are.
I believed that the best way to fight against poverty and inequality was to get involved where it was at ground level because the more we run away from problems the less they get solved.
Today, I look around Frankston at a ghost town with vacant shops with a council who gorged and fattened their coffers at the expense of their <now gone> community …. I look at the tragedies with covid…. with Lebanon, with Black Lives Matter, with riots and protests, and so much more…..
and then I go back to my instagram channel filled with the the beach and family and rainbows….and I see the irony of myself living blissfully in a bubble….
…..and I ask myself:
Am I wasting the talents God gave me to raise my voice for those who can not?
Blogging instead about small business and things I love in the community around me when massive tragedy and real-world problems are unfolding all around…..
we can see the beauty or we can see the despair….
The light and the dark.
The good and the bad.
It all just depends on what you want to see…..
…..what you want to show……
and of course….
what you want to share.
Amanda and I spoke today, as we have done in the past, and she knows my <how do you say it?> my empathy for the world, where I want to help, I want to heal, I want to contribute, and today more than ever as I want to throw it all in– the wearemorningtonpeninsula.com or theprosperityproject.com.au— because it seems so futile trying to make our little contribution to the world when so much global carnage is unfolding– I need to remind myself, that what she says is true.
Individuals like me….
.and maybe even individuals like you…
….it can seem like we can’t make world wide change on a scale of someone with billions of dollars and worldwide influence.
When I think like this, I am reminded of what Amanda told me, and her words were as follows:
…..just because you can’t make big change, doesn’t mean you cant make small changes…
one of the people you come in contact with today may one day influence another woman who sits on the board of an important project or not-for-profit, and the lessons she learned from working with you or from reading your work all those years ago may shape the world for the good of humanity in ways which we will never know….”
I don’t know how to change the world.
I don’t have all the answers.
All I can do is continue to have faith and hope that by doing my small bit– sharing stories from a different point of view or pictures of beauty and love and rainbows– of trying to bring charity into the community of small business owners around me who are struggling right now too– and by trying to be the best human I can be with the resources I have available at the time…..I pray that these small actions when added with your small actions….. and everyone else’s small actions….that they add up to the changes we are seeking to make in the greater world at large.
Take care out there, and if there is anything I can do to help you right now, please feel free to reach out.